Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
