Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
