Having a random hookup so left but love u
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Randomize
