That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
