Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
