The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
