Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
