I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Damn victory sex feels great
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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