i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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