Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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