Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
