Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
