ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
