direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
