it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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