Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i dont even know how to be here
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
