I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Two words: nipple clamps
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