Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
