the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
