your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I want her autograph on my taint
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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