I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
