worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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