Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
