No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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