remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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