: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
