I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
