Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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