I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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