Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
