I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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