You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
