16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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