put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
