I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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