Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
