it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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