I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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