glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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