Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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