I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
