His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
