Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
