My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
