apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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