He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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