jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
