It's Friday. Sex?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
God gave him joint rollers for hands
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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