return my video game
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
