toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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