At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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