My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
