I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
