We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
