ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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